Saturday, September 1, 2012

Religiously Conditioned Women

Religiously-conditioned women think differently than secular women about their lot in life. Especially about roles. In patriarchal religions, many young girls grow up being told their best life could only be in service to a husband and a bunch of children. A woman is not in control of her own body, her husband is, in what the Bible calls "husbandly ownership." — Jeremiah 31:32. Secular women often think beyond such a limited scope of baby-making by choosing a career.

As long as the religiously-conditioned woman tows the line they will fit into a patriarchal family. Provide sex on demand for her husband — fake it if necessary — raise those kids, go to church and pretend everything is perfect. Then, do even more to hold everything together. In my family, whatever I did was never enough for those patriarchal elders, until I finally burned out. Only after getting into therapy, did I discover my family religion was filled with delusional thinking.

The version of truth I was taught: the imminent coming of Armageddon followed by the thousand year reign of Christ where earthly conditions would be perfect. Other religions have still other versions of the Truth. Religions all teach they are each the only "true" religion. That in itself sounds delusional.

Looking back, it all sounds delusional. I didn't know it back then, since I was religiously conditioned, at the time. It took decades of therapy to heal those delusional beliefs.

Religious life is still patriarchal in nature, meaning the man is the head of the family and everything he says goes. The wife must support him, no matter how delusional the thoughts and beliefs.

It would be awesome for women to try some independent thinking, apart from delusional religion. First, they would have to see a need for such independent thinking, which might break down the conditioning and mind control of religion.

(revised September 3, 2012)

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Copyright © 2012.


  1. Hi Esther: Not coming from a religious background, it's hard for me to relate to the passion behind your comments. I know how much your background has hurt and hindered you.

    Yes, I, too, am concerned about what having a Mormon in the Whitehouse would do to American culture. We're already seeing a sneak peak at that by having a Canadian Prime Minister who has strong religious convictions.

    In times of economic and moral turmoil, people seem to look toward strong leaders, even if they don't agree with all of their philosophies and platform. It should be an interesting year ahead!

    1. I would really appreciate if secular people would understand the harms of religion. Many people believe it’s really important that people enjoy “freedom of religion” on the one hand, yet not realizing the many harms that result directly from religion. May I suggest you watch this video where the Mormon women want their old lives back. Too bad their daughters as young as 12 could not get their lives back, after having been “sold out” by their families in order to marry men in forced marriages: (3:26 minutes into the video). The police took the children away because there is a law against marrying underage girls. You may wish to check this website out and scroll down to the picture of Warren Jeffs with his latest conquest, a twelve-year-old child bride. Sadly, the women want you to think THEY are the victims for not having their families together. From where I stand, I see the CHILDREN are the victims of an antiquated patriarchal religion. Some girls are so young they have not even started their periods. Yet, as I understand, they are given to the old men as sexual playthings in exchange for religious favors between patriarchs. These girls have been CONDITIONED FROM BIRTH for this “honor.” These religiously conditioned women sit there straight-faced and lie about not having such knowledge of child brides when they likely attended the ceremony. How do they look at themselves in the mirror? The story about “Yearning for Zion’s Ranch” and the “altar-bed” where he raped the young virgin girls was on the news when the ranch was raided. These women raised daughters to become trapped in those marriages to those old men. They have been taught this is their lot in life, as sordid as that sounds.

      Indeed, I hear you say you were not raised in a religious way. You are a fortunate one. Secular people have little sense of the harms of religion. Religion is put up on a pedestal where no one is allowed to criticize it. I say that must change! Dialogue is the only thing that will shed light on these horrors of religion and eventually stop their sickening behaviors, all supposedly in the name of God.

      Polygamy and child brides are not something that only happens in third world countries. It happens in so-called "civilized" societies we call Canada and the USA.

      If you are interested enough to look further into the subject of religions ills, I suggest you read Daphne Bramham’s book called, “The Secret Lives of Saints: Child Brides and Lost Boys in Canada’s Polygamous Mormon Sect.”

      Thank you for your comment. I wish more people cared as much as you. Dialogue is important.

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    1. An editing comment: use of idiom - please see:

      You write:
      "Only after getting into therapy, did I discover my family religion was filled with delusional thinking. My husband was an addict who I was supposed to "fix" by conversion into the faith. Not unlike Ann's husband, who appears addicted to power, believing if he grasps the presidency, he is destined to become a Mormon god in his next life. After all, he was taught his entire life this version of the "Truth." "
      OK, both men are addicts, but I sense Ann Romney does not have to "fix" Mitt, unlike what you were expected to do to your hubby.

      After watching the interview of Trisha Erickson by Dr. James David Manning I feel confused. At 23:00 Erickson expresses pro-life, homophobic, and "salvation-centred" beliefs. Based on that, Erickson very likely believes Jeremiah 31:32 literally and embraces "traditional family values" which I understand you oppose. Do you really think we can believe things she says about Mormonism and at the same time reject the other things she says?

    2. I note that you feel Ann does not have to fix Mitt. To that I say "Maybe." Certainly she feels responsible to "make him look good" because people in general are not seeing his goodness. They apparently see him as "secretive" from what I gather.

      As for the Manning interview with Trisha Erickson, I agree that I was only curious what Trisha had to say about Mormonism, after learning that she had exited. I wondered how she got away safe and what else was going on. Admittedly, I do not see eye to eye with her new life of choice, either.

      Perhaps you are not aware that I also have escaped from a patriarchal religion that conditions and controls its members to an excessive degree. But that is where I part ways with Trisha because I now self-declare myself to be non-religious.

      My purpose for this blog is because I want people to be aware of how dysfunctional religious zealots behave "in the name of God."

      Thanks for your comment. I appreciate the opportunity to clarify my statements and my stand.